Welcome to my first article of 2025. I am sending you all my warmest wishes for the new year.
I've thought a lot about what I wanted my first article of the year to be about - maybe a rallying call to courage for 2025 or something motivational about being your most courageous self as you start the year. Instead, I've decided to share what courage is looking like for me as I begin this new year, and it might surprise you!
This new year holds a great deal of promise for me. I've finally committed to launching The Courageous Coach offering in 2025, which includes a new podcast and a brand new Courageous Coach programme. I'm going 'all in' as they say, and that feels...........exciting, anxiety-inducing, but mainly, courageous and vulnerable.
This will be a year of arena moments for me, big and small. So that means that the critics are already shouting.
Comparison (everyone else is so much better at the business side of launching stuff than me)
Scarcity (you haven't done enough to prove your expertise yet, coaches are already strapped for cash and you're expecting them to pay for this!).
Shame (you're not enough, who do you think you are!, stick with what you know),
Oh and then there's the people I'm trying impress, the people with the power, not the kind of power they've taken but the kind of power I'm giving them.
Towards the end of last year, the voices in the critics' section of the arena got really loud in my head, so I began leaning into my support section. The people who I really trust to have my back and give me constructive feedback, the people who really know what empathy looks like for me. It's not a huge cheerleading squad - my dear friend (gratitude always for Donna Ward-Higgs MIoL, MCMI ), my supervisor (huge shout out to Dr Eunice Aquilina) and of course many of the wonderful coaches who are already on their courage-building journey with me, thank you.
Then January arrived and my first few days back at my desk, with all that excitement and promise you'd think I'd be the action taker that all those business mentors tell me I 'should' be, I'd be diving head first into launch plans and marketing and design. And yes there have been small glimmers of that.
But also I'm still 'Wintering'
I love this term coined by Donna Ashworth in her beautiful book 'Wild Hope'.
Nature is simply pulling you to slow, like the life, flora and fauna around you. It is not your moment to rise, Look around you. It is winter. You are wintering. And you are right on time. - Donna Ashworth
For me wintering is about slowing down, in some ways hibernating and feel the flow of the season around me. It's about going at a pace that feels natural and tuned in to me. This great post from Teresa Wilson this week really reminded me of this - https://www.linkedin.com/posts/teresawilsoncoaching_resolutions-dreams-activity-7282032109773287424-kge3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop
When I had this realisation, my immediate thought was that I was choosing comfort over courage and do you know what that's fine for now.
But........
Here's the thing, I'm always banging on about how courage is most often found in the small moments of our lives, those ordinary, everyday moments. Courage is not just about those big, flashy moments that announce themselves with a big bang. Courage is also those small, quiet moments that we often fail to notice or offer ourselves self-compassion for.
I believe there is courage in my choice to go slow, to go at my pace and to emerge when I am ready, and believe me, the critics are shouting loudly about speeding up, about how lazy I'm being and how action-takers win the race in business.
I am choosing courage, it's just quiet and almost unassuming, but it is courage nonetheless and with that comes feelings of vulnerability. I'm leaning into the discomfort of that vulnerability and keeping an eye out for the armour (self-protection) that I know shows up for me in arenas like this - busyness, numbing, perfectionism and judgement of myself and others.
I'm working hard to strengthen and exercise my Grounded Confidence and to live into my values of curiosity, expertise, home, loyalty and connection.
And I'll be leaning into my support section again.
I am offering myself self-compassion - not to make myself feel better, but to acknowledge that is hard for me to slow down and quieten those critics without support. I'm checking in on what I need and then asking for it. I'm noticing my emotions and how they are showing up in my body, I'm trying to make mindful choices about the emotions I want to pay attention to and those that I can let go of. I'm leaning into my common humanity, making sure to remind myself that others are struggling too, I am not isolated, I am not alone.
This is ordinary, everyday courage in action.
There's so much to come this year for The Courageous Coach, but it will be coming in my own sweet time and at my own sweet pace.
I wonder what resonates for you here? Whatever your courageous choices are, I hope that you are able to recognise them and gather the support you need, both inside and outside of yourself.
If you need support to recognise and step into your courage (big or small) as you begin your year, you know where I am.
About the Author
Melissa is a Leadership Coach and Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator based in Dorset, with a particular interest in supporting leaders and coaches to be more courageous in their work and lives.
Find out more about The Courageous Coach, Dare to Lead for Leaders or One to One and team coaching.
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