That little voice in your head can be your worst critic as a coach. It shouts self-limiting doubts through what we often refer to as mind monkeys.
They say things like:
Who do you think you are? You're not ready for this!
You're going to look so stupid. Don’t ask that question.
If you challenge them, they won’t like it or you.
We all have an inner critic. It's a primitive survival mechanism designed to keep us safe. Unfortunately, it also holds us back from reaching our potential.
New coaches often struggle with relentless inner chatter. Impostor syndrome runs rampant. You feel anxious to prove yourself in unfamiliar terrain.
The mind monkeys can be deafening at first. But you can master techniques to overcome them. Here are four highly effective strategies:
Name the narrative. Pinpoint the specific self-doubt cycling through your mind. Is it feeling undeserving? Fear of judgement? Perfectionism? The act of identifying the script diffuses its power.
Get curious. Ask yourself: Is this thought actually true and helpful? Or distorted and harmful? Consider more empowering alternatives. This builds self-awareness.
Rewrite your story. Refute limiting beliefs with truthful ones that inspire you. For example: "I'm growing into this new role" not "I'm not ready for this". Repeat these aloud.
Focus outward. When inner chatter spirals, direct your attention externally to serving others, your clients. You can't be trapped in your head while taking purposeful action.
With consistent practice, these tactics become automatic. You'll notice, and neutralise, destructive self-talk faster before it sabotages you.
Key principles to remember in overcoming mind monkeys:
Our thoughts are not who we are. We have power over them.
Negativity bias is normal but we don't have to buy into our stories.
The voice of self-doubt often disguises deeper fears and hurts.
Self-compassion is essential - you are always worthy and you are enough.
Next time those anxious monkeys start screeching, take a breath. Recognise inner resistance as a sign you're growing. Give the scary new endeavour a chance. With some work taming your inner critic, you'll discover spaciousness in your mind. Your self-belief will strengthen through small wins. You'll realise just how capable and ready you are to coach.
The mind monkeys never disappear fully. But their howls become whispering echoes rather than deafening roars. You start listening to your wise inner self-compassionate voice instead - the one who knows and understands your power.
About the Author
Melissa is a Leadership Coach and Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator based in Dorset, with a particular interest in supporting leaders and coaches to be more courageous in their work and lives.
Find out more about The Courageous Coach, Dare to Lead for Leaders or One to One and team coaching.
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